I just stopped crying. I had no idea I had hurt her.

Life hasn't stopped being weird.

S. has a boyfriend now.
J. is still single after like, 2 years. "Talk to you later, XXX."
L. hugs me so tightly.

But now I just want to drink all the time.

I got a date on Friday ! Friendly date (?).

Gah, I sounded like a fool again !!!!!!!!!!!!!

'cause... I'm socially awkward ?

And nobody will fucking pick up the phone !!!

It's true : the only thing that can truly make me happy is music.

MUSIC IS FAITHFUL.

So, I'm procrastinating and kind of missing people... but at the same time, I really don't want to see anyone, except if someone wants to go to a show with me.

I'm kind of like a hermit right now.

and music is my boyfriend.

I have all those teenagey feelings. It's both annoying and embarrassing. I just don't want to be here and pressured with actually doing things out of my life, like making and keeping friends... it's too hard to constantly try.

Yes, I'm fine.

FUCK YOU.

Procrastination. And then I'll cry because I'm too stressed out. Seriously. I'm (still) so not ready for University.

Fuck.

Learn to never expect and you won't be disappointed... When I am, it just hurts.

Don't say you'll do things when you won't.
Don't say anything.

I think I need music today.

If there is someone on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met in real life without the Internet, then post this sentence in your journal.

I just had a dream about this blond guy I talked to like once named Chris. He was going to see The Dreaming and I was, too, and he'd seen Rise Against the same day I did... So we decided to go see The Dreaming together, he was going to see Robopop as well, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that the band sucks when they're playing live. And then we were leaving and he put his lips close to mine and I kissed him.

I nearly cried my heart out on the subway yesterday. I feel like a kid.

I hate my moods. I can understand why people wouldn't like me.

I was going to buy a gift for my friend, but I remembered how pissed I am at him and how it doesn't seem like he cares. They say it's shyness. I say die...